Ok my partner and I have been together for about three and a half years and I love him dearly. We are total opposites, Im impulsive, thrill seeking, outgoing and he is steady, extremely hard working and would rather be sat at home than go out anywhere. We are great together because he keeps me grounded and I bring him out of his shell more.
For about a year now he has been working soo hard to the point where he leaves at 7am (sometimes 6 am) and gets back between 7pm and 9pm he is understanably tired and falls asleep almost instantly and never wants to do anything other than play on his xbox on his day off – we used to go out and do stuff but it has felt like he has lost all interest in me and hasnt wanted to make any kind of effort at all. We have spoken about it a lot over the last 3 months but it took for me to be in floods of tears for him to take any notice. Our sex life has dwindled away – i will suggest going to bed early or try to kiss him while we downstairs but he just brushes me off and then wants it last thing at night when im too tired. We used to work for the same company which is how we met but i recently had to give work up because my son was suffering because of the long hours i was doing plus childcare issues. He will be getting a promotion in the next 6 months and we will need to move away from any city into (what i would class as) the country. I dont drive and the public transport there is awful, plus i wont know anyone, am dreading it!
I have always prided myself on being loyal and have never cheated but the other night i very nearly did, my friend took me out to cheer me up and I got a lot of attention and was feeling like my old self again, all my confidence had come back. There was one guy who I was chatting to an dancing with a lot of the night – we had the best time!! He was so good looking and something had clicked between us and there were a couple of occasions when we were dancing where he was spinning me around so fast i had lost my footing and he had to catch me so i didnt fall and we had just lingered there in a "just about to kiss" moment. We didnt kiss because we both knew i was with someone, he did give me a couple of pecks on the cheek (one very near the lips) but nothing other than that. but i was soo tempted. I cant get this guy out of my head, He made me remember the excitement of a new relationship which i never had with my current partner, we were more of a slow burner.
Im feeling so confused about everything i dont want to leave my partner, he is so good to me, i couldnt have a relationship with this other guy even if i were single because he is completely out of my league!! But what if something happens another time not necessarily with this new guy but with someone else – i think it has just highlighted how boring our relationship has become.
I simply dont know what to do about any of it!!
Suggestion:
I am so sorry you are going through this sad time in your life. It's obvious you're very vulnerable right now. If you want to work this out with your partner I would suggest staying out of bars for a bit. Not that you don't have a right to a little fun, you do, but take the other night as a warning. Next time you may have a bit more to drink, and your lowered inhibitions coupled with needing some positive attention and feedback could be disastrous. Spend that energy trying to get this relationship back on track.
It sounds like he's not very interested in spending time with you. That must be very painful. Honest communication is the only answer. I wish I could tell you how to get him to open up…but I have no idea (men!). Hopefully someone else will be able to help.
Good luck!
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